I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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