Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
