i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he fucked my hip out of place.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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