Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
