Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
