There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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