This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize