Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
