Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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