Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize