i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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