Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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