I love black thongs
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
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