This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
