You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
