David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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