What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
