Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
