Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
