Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize