Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
