I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize