some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
