i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Terrible idea I love it
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
