yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
