so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
