he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
