She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
try to milk me bitch
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