Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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