she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
