i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
