I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
