not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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