I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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