I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
