drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's blow job season.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
