is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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