nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
