I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
