THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
she peed on how many people?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
