she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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