I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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