I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
im six kinds of drunk right now
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
