East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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