my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
