I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So vagazzling was a success
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
