Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
