So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
