The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize