OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
