roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
