Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
