Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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