marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
