Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
