If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
