I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
