you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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