the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
