so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I FOUND THE LEGS
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
