just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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