Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
