She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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