i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
