battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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