Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize