I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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