You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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